Former First-Class Quitter



I was a first class quitter. Honestly. Over the years, I've had many ideas and interests --- as have we all. Every now and again, something will come along that I am very passionate about, and the Enemy knows that if I am passionate about it, then he can (very easily) knock me off track by making it difficult. I'm prone to becoming disillusioned when the circumstances begin to stray away from the way I felt it should happen. Once the Enemy had me disillusioned, then he had me beaten, because I quit. As the LORD recalls to me the events of my life, He shows me this is a consistent pattern in every area of my life: work, friendships, relationships & goals.

In part, I believe western culture feeds the fleshly tendency for immediate gratification, even more so than it did in the past. Today, our culture is all about convenience: it's the number one selling point of any product. For instance, the popular Burger KingŪ slogan, "Your way, right away." My personal favorite is a television commercial from a pharmaceutical company promoting a new way of testing blood sugar for diabetes. The ad leads off with a healthy looking, adult male saying, "Why should I have to stop my life, just to test my blood sugar?" It made me laugh when I saw it, because I thought to myself, if that man fell over on the spot and went into seizures, he'd have his answer as to why he should stop his life to test his blood sugar, wouldn't he? How is it that we don't realize that just being able to test blood sugar and have insulin to deter those seizures is a major blessing that others in history did not have? Even if it takes one hour out of your day to test your blood sugar, that is one hour you would not have on this Earth otherwise. But we speak of it as if it's a major inconvenience to "stop our life" to do something that saves our life.

My LORD, what a planet we live on.

Convenience has always been a weakness of the flesh that the Enemy knows he can successfully exploit. Despite miracle upon miracle the LORD provided: Fresh water from a spring that was bitter (Exodus 15:22-25); bread that appeared in the middle of the desert (Exodus 16:4); fresh water from solid stone (Exodus 17:1-8); the Hebrews consistently complained to Moses and the LORD about how much better they had it in Egypt ---- where they had been enslaved, ironically. In other words, the LORD's way to the promised land just wasn't convenient enough for them.

Unfortunately for me, somehow, I'd fallen right into the same stronghold.

It seems that the LORD has grown tired of that tendency in me, because some time ago, He anchored a belief deep in my heart that I have not shaken since. I've tried to quit many times, but it doesn't let loose. I want to quit, because it certainly has not been convenient and it doesn't seem like "the way it should be", even though, my basis of how things should be is nothing more than "as quick and as trouble-free as possible".

Yet, I know the LORD's way rarely amounts to quick and trouble-free. More often than not, the LORD's way borders on completely impossible and absolutely absurd for any reasonable person to even consider. Sincerely take the time to think about the situation Moses was in. He was an 80 year old man (Exodus 7:7) who had been a fugitive from the law for murder (Exodus 2:11-15) when the LORD asked him to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt (Exodus 3:10).

First of all, the very idea of an old man who has no position of authority, asking two million people to pack up their belongings and take a walk out into the desert is ridiculous! If we're honest with ourselves, we know that if an old man came knocking on our door, telling us to pack up and walk to Texas, we'd call the nearest insane asylum and have him removed from our doorstep (at least those of us who aren't rude enough to outright slam the door in his face). What the LORD asked of Moses wasn't just impossible, it was completely unthinkable.

This theme happens consistently in the Bible with every patriarch the LORD favored. If we are to follow Him, then why would He treat us any differently. The Enemy would like us to only focus on how hard it can be, how long it can seem, how much pain there may be to face. However, the end results is always even more unimaginable then path to getting there. Moses died at 120 years old, not as a weak and feeble old man, but as much (if not more) strength and vigor than young men (Deuteronomy 34:7). Moses had such a relationship with the LORD, that he is the only person referred to as "the man whom the LORD knew face to face" (Deuteronomy 34:10), the only man to be personally buried by the hand of the LORD, Himself (Deuteronomy 34:6). You see, the task may have been impossible, but the reward was invaluable.

As each day goes on, I find that, to outward eyes and my own flesh, what the LORD has set on my heart is increasingly more impossible to achieve. That is one of the ways that I know it is Him who has set it on my heart and not a desire of my flesh. Because my flesh didn't want it this way, but an easier way. But I am going forward, leaving behind the attitude of quitter, leaving behind a wish for something easy and trouble-free. I am going forward knowing that this may take many more years before the LORD fulfills the belief He's put into my heart, however, that thought is losing it's power to disillusion me daily. All praise to Him.